Shirts that have always been cool
And WACK joints trapped behind the Fatal-Uncoolness-Resurrection Barrier
Spy Nation — what’s up ! It’s yr friends at BBSP coming at you once again with an extremely good sletter….
But first, real quick: The SpyMerch Sale rages on, with a few remaining L.A.-made cotton tees hand-screened in Oakland and U.S.A. union-made caps embroidered in Berkeley … Cop these cool talismans here.
“The Sauce Pendulum” is a concept we invoke often here at BBSP — it’s a way of understanding how ugly, déclassé and/or otherwise not-ill clothes can amass mad sauce over time, gradually become slappers. And vice versa … Pants-width is a classic example of the sauce pendulum’s swing... T-shirt-sleeve length is a subtler but no less important one... One of the wildest “Sauce-Pendulum Success Stories” of our time is, of course, Crocs, which went from repulsively, trypophobically uncool to “ironically bussin’ on some art-kid s**t” to massively influential canonized-classic-jawn status in the space of ~15 years…
We’ve published one brilliant theory to partially account for the mechanics of the sauce pendulum: The Ugly-Genius Matrix. But much like the actual sciences, Spyplane Jawn Physics are a necessarily incomplete tool for mapping the complex behavior of clothes in their totality, and so vexing mysteries remain….
Case in point: Why do some garments never become popping? How is it that they exist in an apparently permanent state of irretrievable wackness, beyond reach of even the most powerful forces of swag rehabilitation ?
Put another way: How is it that some garments that were seen as once “fatally uncool” (e.g. Dave Matthews tees, jorts, wack silver sneakers) manage to pass through the F.U.R.B. (Fatal-Uncoolness-Resurrection Barrier, schematic above) — while others (short-brim fedoras, long plaid cargo shorts, no-show socks) seem stranded in perpetuity on the other side??
Perhaps it is merely that the sauce arc of the universe is long but bends toward dopeness on a time-scale that the human brain simply struggles to comprehend… We have enormous, rippling brains at Blackbird Spyplane, but we just don’t know. Some enigmas U just need to marvel at.
MEANWHILE it’s only right to ask the inverse question: Are there clothes that have functionally never not been cool ?? That is, are there Eternally Popping Jawnz ??
The answer is O yes there are, and today we are supplying you with a tribute to, and mad recon into, one such shining unisex jawn category, which you can rock year-round, cop vintage & new in all manner of styles and colors, quite often for extremely cheap despite the high-quality craftsmanship on some Spyplane Swag Arbitrage …
We remain a 100% reader-supported masterpiece, and today’s intel epic is a ‘xclusie for our “beautiful & blessed” Cla$$ified-Tier Readers — thank you to those cool humans, and if you are not currently one of them don’t worry, we still undercharge so you can improve your life and gain knowledge of serious game behind the Spyplane Recon Curtain with extreme ease… 😃
Jonah & Erin