How many clothes does a human need in their closet?
Black Spyday vs. Black Fr*day
Every now & then we do an open call on IG for burning reader questions — we treat the most compelling Qs to our infallible wisdom, then share the profound results…
Today we’re tackling 2 questions thematically connected to “Black Fr*day”… A day when multifarious forces assemble to try & whip U into a mindless copping frenzy — but you are stronger than that, baby!!
“Who’s got the recon on popping black fr*day/ cyb*r Monday deals to look out for?” — Jack Schulte
📜📜📜 One of our Mach 3+ Cla$$ified SpyFriends posted this in the Spytalk chat room the other day, and it’s a great question — who doesn’t want to know about fire deals, especially fire deals Spy Nation is stoked about ??
But this will be the 2nd year running that we give Black Fr*day / Cyb*r Monday a MF-ing MISS. We like to conceive of BBSP as a weird oasis that’s connected to the consumer culture (we are, after all, a sletter about dope joints), and yet exists meaningfully apart from that culture at its most abjectly Pavlovian.
So even though many brands and stores that we love are gonna offer big $avings this weekend, it would make us feel too W*recutter-y to do a dedicated sale round-up / a.k.a. it would make us feel like SLAVISH SERVANTS TO THE GRINDING GEARS OF COMMERCE ...
Instead, we’re going to swing to the other extreme and unveil a new profound Black Spyday mindset as a corrective to Black Fr*day mania. We’re calling it:
“Cop Hardly Anything on Sale” (C.H.A.O.S.) Mindset.
Like most profound Blackbird Spyplane Mindsets, C.H.A.O.S. Mindset isn’t a strict blanket prescription for how to live, but rather a powerful horizon-expanding tool to help U see things in a different light. (Originally I wanted to go with the bolder “Cop Nothing on Sale” Mindset but that was too hyperbolic and also the acronym “C.N.O.S.” is not good.)
To be clear, it’s obviously tight to find a pricey jawn you were coveting at a heavily reduced price. BUT our problem is that this is not always (very rarely??) how sales actually go. Rather, Black Fr*day can feel like a dispiriting trip to an outlet mall where you try to convince yrself that you’ve found an underpriced gem not because it’s true but just so you can participate in “The Theater of the Bargain.”
(Some brands actually