Spyplane Slapper Pants Guide

The Best Trousers Out

Pants — if you’re trying to pick one garment that separates the Mach 3+ real ones from the Mach negative-7 shook ones, it’s these.

Even if we grant that footwear is “the window into the Jawns Enthusiast’s soul,” what the wise clothes-rocker learns with time and experience is that

“PANTS ARE THE BINOCULARS INTO THE SOUL.”

They allow us to peer more deeply into what the f**k someone else’s whole swag is really about

Because they allow us to peer more powerfully, and more deeply, into what the f**k someone else’s whole swag is really about.

And today?? We’re celebrating The Pants of the Year.

Below you’ll find Jonah & Erin’s picks for 2023’s Top Trousers.

You’ll also find year-defining banger pants for men & women as selected by a global network of swaggy Spyfriends…

We’re talking about top-tier trousers, jeans and corduroys as rocked & praised by Danielle Haim, Ebon Moss-Bachrach, Larz Harry from Man-tle, Sweetu Patel from C’H’C’M’, Stella Bugbee from NYT Styles, James and Lawrence from Throwing Fits, Emmanuel Olunkwa of PIN-UP, Saager and Karyna from Neighbour, young food-world sauce legends like Emily Eisen and Pierce Abernathy, the swagged-out skateboarding king Bobby De Keyzer, Emma Songeon from Paris vintage hotspot Em Archives, Jacob Gallagher of WSJ, Diana Kim from Stand Up Comedy, Su Wu of I’m Revolting, Oliver Church of Oliver Church Singular Garments, Chaz Bear a.k.a. Toro y Moi, Sam Hine and Noah Johnson from GQ, Mac DeMarco, and more illustrious pants panelists.

As far as criteria for inclusion, we kept our parameters the same way many cool people keep their trousers these days: W•I•D•E. Because, at bottom 😉, we’re talking about parameter-transcending excellence in pants, no more no less.

You could argue that this is the most definitive Good Pants Guide of our era, and that it will remain true and useful well into 2026 and beyond. You’d be right.

Let’s get to it —